It is crucial to distinguish between the event and the outcome. There is nothing positive about trauma itself; we wouldn’t choose it, then or now. There is nothing beneficial about being captured in Iraq or being diagnosed with an aneurysm. Nevertheless, we might be able to reap something beneficial out of the sorrow.The good only comes from what we decide to do with it—from our struggle that unveils what needs to change in us and in our society, from honing our ability to make meaning out of events that seem senseless, from not trying to rebuild an exact replica of what was lost, but to engineer a stronger, sturdier foundation for our life.A crisis is not a cul-de-sac, but rather a watershed moment. What we do next matters: advance or retreat, take a turn south or north, run or hide, crawl or fly. We can avert our eyes or dig deeper, try harder or grow softer, close down or break open.The fundamental question is not whether we encounter suffering—because we all do. “It is how we work with suffering so that it leads to awakening the heart and going beyond the habitual views and actions that perpetuate suffering,” Buddhist teacher Pema Chodron says. “How do we actually use suffering so that it transforms our being and that of those with who we come in contact? How can we stop running from pain and reacting against it in ways that destroy us as well as others?”As Maya Angelou says, “Nothing will work unless you do.”