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THE THOUSAND AND ONE
PERVERSIONS OF FELICIA
2
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I think it was pretty odd
to name her daughter Felicia.
3
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But I always maintained that
your friend Vicky was a little crazy.
4
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Felicia... I think it's a pretty name.
5
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Perhaps, but she still has a lot of nerve.
6
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To expect you to look after her
daughter after not writing for six years.
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Of course the great
Mrs. Benson had to leave Australia ...
8
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... to treat her middle-class
depression in a Swiss clinic.
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Ah! There she is!
10
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A bad guess.
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Still... she's nice to look at.
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Ah! That one!
13
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Felicia!
14
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- Did you have a pleasant flight?
- I hate flying.
15
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In that case, you must
be very happy to be here.
16
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Come on, we'll go get the car.
17
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I hate cars.
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The house isn't very far.
Just past Deauville.
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- Quite close to the sea.
- I hate the sea.
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Let's go...
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If we squeeze in a bit...
22
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Two women sure take up a
lot of space, compared to one man.
23
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I'm sure the three of
us will be very cozy together.
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I never wanted to come here.
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This is your room.
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Do you like it?
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The bathroom?
28
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In here...
29
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Three weeks with
her around is all we need!
30
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Oh well...
I think I'll fix us some lunch.
31
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You have a class at 2:00 this afternoon.
32
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When I catch you,
I'm going to rape you!
33
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It's true!
You're as excited as a school boy, Paul.
34
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Oh, yes...
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Faster...
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Faster! Yes, yes! Faster!
37
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No cheating!
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Wait a minute!
39
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I want to cum inside you!
40
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With you!
41
00:11:32,842 --> 00:11:36,042
You're very charming, but it's just that
you're not exactly what I was looking for ...
42
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... the cover of my third album.
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Oh well, I'll call the agency.
You can go get dressed now.
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Thank you anyway.
45
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I'll let you girls dress
while I phone the agency.
46
00:11:51,847 --> 00:11:56,147
Shit! I'm fed up with these artists
who never know what the hell they want!
47
00:11:56,348 --> 00:11:58,648
Too bad. She was very sweet.
48
00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:02,949
For a moment there, I figured she was
a lesbian when she began to caress me.
49
00:12:03,250 --> 00:12:06,250
And you're the one who always
says don't mix business and pleasure.
50
00:12:06,651 --> 00:12:09,151
As the saying goes,
"The best laid plans..."
51
00:12:09,352 --> 00:12:10,352
No willpower...
52
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This is the real thing!
She's not poor, I can guarantee you that!
53
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Hey! Are you crazy?
What if she walks in?
54
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I heard her on the telephone.
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As long as she keeps
talking, there's no danger.
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- But it's wrong!
- Oh, nonsense!
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We're safe!
58
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If they're fake, it makes no difference.
And if they're real, it's worth a try.
59
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Someone's in the closet!
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Leave me alone!
61
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Give it to me! Give me that!
62
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No!
If you grab it, I'll scream my head off.
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And I took a very pretty picture!
Gabrielle will be delighted to see it.
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Alright, what do you want?
Who are you?
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What does she want?
What will she do with it?
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Nothing... if...
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If what? What if she walks in?
68
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There's no danger.
69
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Go on. Show me what you were doing.
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- What?
- Making love!
71
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- Why, she's absolutely crazy!
- No... just curious!
72
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You go for girls, too?
You've never seen two women making love?
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Hurry!
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You've turned us off. It won't work.
75
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Go on, just pretend.
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I'm afraid!
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That's not bad for a start.
Come on, hurry! Hurry!
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Yes, that's it!
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- You little bitch!
- Don't be rude.
80
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Go on! Get going!
Show me what you can do.
81
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Now lick her!
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Go on! Lick her!
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Lower... to her pubes!
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Hurry!
I want to see everything!
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Lick it!
86
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Suck it!
Go on, eat it!
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Lick my foot!
88
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Yes... that's what I wanted.
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Your tongue... feels good!
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Yes...
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Gently...
92
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Yes...
93
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Oh, your tongue...
94
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Hello? Is that you, sir?
95
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Am I disturbing you?
96
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I wanted to ask you to forgive
me for what happened at school.
97
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I must have sounded so stupid.
98
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Yes, yes. It really won't bother
you if I come Sunday with my uncle?
99
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Oh... thank you professor.
Thank you, Paul!
100
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- I'll dream about it all night long.
- Sure, sure. Goodbye!
101
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:58,200
- Wrong number, darling?
- It was Brigitte, sweetheart.
102
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You know, I really pity that girl.
She's head over heels in love with you!
103
00:17:07,502 --> 00:17:09,002
Nonsense!
104
00:17:09,503 --> 00:17:11,103
She's still only a child!
105
00:17:11,104 --> 00:17:15,804
Oh, only a child? No doubt she thinks
of you when she plays with herself!
106
00:17:16,405 --> 00:17:18,805
Me too, when I was a schoolgirl.
107
00:17:18,806 --> 00:17:22,506
I also thought I was passionately
in love with one of my professors.
108
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I used to do it, too!
109
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You never told me that,
you little pervert!
110
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Now, as punishment...
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... you must show
me what you used to do!
112
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No! You're not going to make
me regress to my neurotic childhood?
113
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It was fun, though. Wasn't it?
114
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It was better than nothing.
Until I knew you!
115
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When you don't have a
man standing by, it relieves you.
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- Darling, if you want to try her...
- Try who?
117
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Why, your little Brigitte. Who else?
118
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I'll let you do it,
Paul, because I love you!
119
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And because I have confidence in you.
In us!
120
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Because our love can only
last if each is free to do as he wants.
121
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That's very nice, my Gabby ...
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... but freedom for me means loving you!
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Sharing everything with you.
124
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You know that!
125
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Yes, I know. But if one day,
you weren't really in love ...
126
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... but, let's say, aroused by a
girl who is younger, more beautiful...
127
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You're crazy!
128
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What's gotten into you, Gabby?
129
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I just occurred to me that my husband,
after ten years of marriage...
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I repeat, there's only one woman for me.
And you're the only one I love!