Dear mohamed,
or shall i say,
To My Dearest Future Man,
i think this would be better :) I know you find me here as a strange woman that suddenly dropped by in your inbox :) And Yes, i am. Because i have found out that chatting would not show sincerity as i know it. I already chatted you for many times hmm.. but you is can i see that maybe you wont entertain chats that is why i wrote you right away.
Let’s just be honest here — I always thought that if I hadn’t found you by now, I’d be totally bummed out and depressed. I thought I’d be a nervous, incomplete wreck, writing this letter as I sat on the floor with my table in front of my borrowed laptop haha which keeps on cuddling my kitten at my side :)
After all, I mean, hello, I’m almost thirty! (in mind haha)
Which of course, to my 18-year-old self, was a dinosaur-like age at which I thought I’d have a diamond rock on my left hand, two charming young Ralph Lauren model-looking kids, and would be living in the suburbs with a golden retriever and an SUV. Kidding! too ambitious xoxoxo I mean. living with in a simple family yet, rich in hearts..
(And also, of course, who is still single, which may not be surprising taking into account how I tend to spend my time these days.)
My 16-year-old-self would wonder, with a confused half-frown on her face and a cocktail in her hand, why it seems as if I have been focusing on everything but finding love..
After all, I used to have All The Things I was “supposed” to have at that age, and yet I gave them all up.
*That dining couch i have? I sold it out for my tuition fees (yet, i really intend to save money for it)
*That business job i am working and made me a finance problem-free? i quit (for my study)
And the man? I gave him up years ago to a more well-suited woman.
Yes, I gave it all up.*
BUT THE TRUTH IS, I AM HAPPIER NOW THAN I WAS EVER BEFORE :)
I drastically downsized, began living off my savings, and poured all my heart and energy and focus into two things: First, living; and second, studying and growing my own labor of love — this site.
And forgot to mention that i am living independently right now. I dont want to mention it but just to let you know, my parents are already gone. I dont know where are my family right now. I just dont know uhm!!! so much for that. All i am looking for is a sincere, romantic, funny, decided, confident and mature man.
And now, i have been in my own little business as i am about to finished my study :) At this age, i became more matured enough. And in the process of doing All The Things, I gave up the search to find love.
Now, my dearest future man, don’t take this the wrong way — it’s not that I have given up on finding you. In fact, Real Love cannot come to you at all, because it is already right here and right now, ready to be experienced in everything and everyone around you. To fully live, I think, is to fully love.
Now all I’m waiting on — patiently, deliberately, and full of faith — is you.
I cannot wait — as in, I’m, like, Tom Cruise jumping on the couch excited — to meet you haha. And I’m just gonna go ahead and put this out there: Whenever the time is right for our paths to cross — should it be in 5 days, 5 years, or 5 lifetimes — I think I’m finally ready.
Bring it on.
Love,
Luna XOXO